Episode
25
When Trust is Broken with Dr. Wendy Fraser
Our colleague Dr Wendy Fraser comes on to the podcast to talk about the nature of trust and trust repair based on many years of research for her PhD.
In this episode we discuss:
- How to avoid overemphasizing the issues at hand, and instead focus primarily on the human being you’re in conflict with
- The importance of acknowledging your own part in disagreements or disputes
- How leaders can be better equipped, prepared and patient when it comes to resolving issues and restoring trust.
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Interview excerpts:
Repairing trust can take a huge amount of time and effort. Sometimes there is no quick fix.
In the study, it took 6 to 36 months to repair trust. Think about that. How long has it taken for you to get to that place? If it has been a few years that has taken to get used to certain behaviour or deal with a change in relationship then perhaps you needed that time.
Sometimes we just want to feel heard. Acknowledging your own part or mistake can make a world of difference in restoring trust or moving on from a disagreement.
We want to be heard…we want to be seen…valued and everyone need their time. The first phases of the repair model are about reflect and understand. We need to think about what did I do to contribute to this situation. And until someone accepts that, I don’t believe they’re ready for the next stage.
Often the resolution doesn’t require moving forward or changing your mind. Sometimes it is simply about understanding and accepting the impact of the disagreement on each party.
If you do the first two phases, reflect and understand, well you may not need to move forward. Sometimes its just about coming to a mutual understanding of what happened and its impact.
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