E47: Conflict and Loving Dangerously with Chad Ford
Episode 47 of We are Open Circle’s Beyond Listening Podcast saw Miriam and Brandon join in conversation with Chad Ford, to reflect on his life, his philosophies and the vital wisdom of his book Dangerous Love, in light of the recent escalation of human tragedy and suffering in the Middle East.
For the full podcast, check out the episode here.
In this episode, we cover...
Pivotal lessons from experiences of great vulnerability, darkness and dangerous love.
Our shared humanity, and the power of emphasising “us” in conflict resolution.
A path towards courage: embracing the fullness of our being, with all of our wounds.
Chad Ford has been living five lives simultaneously for nearly 20 years. He’s been an international conflict mediator, a college professor, a senior consultant and facilitator for the Arbinger Institute, an executive board member for PeacePlayers, and a writer, analyst and entrepreneur covering the NBA and NBA Draft for ESPN.
Chad’s peacebuilding work is what defines him. Through his studies at George Mason University and Georgetown University Law School, and through the numerous experiences of his life, he has become dedicated to building bridges between some of the most divided sections of society, for a better world - and for the good of us all.
Here are some of the key insights from the conversation...
Chad embraced his mistakes and poured honesty into his writing.
” I rewrote the book, more vulnerable, more open, more willing to talk about my mistakes and my flaws, than the first draft. I think it made it a better book. And despite all of my fears that everybody would read this book and say, ‘Why am I reading this book about this guy that got divorced or seems like he's constantly in conflict?’ Like, ‘Why in the world am I taking advice from you?’ The feedback that I got from so many people is, it gives me hope because I have these challenges and these weaknesses too. Dangerous Love has changed me in helping me be more self-aware of when I'm the problem.”
The only path to true peace is collaboration.
” There's no peace agreement that only Israelis decide and there's no peace agreement that only Palestinians decide. The only way you could have actually truly sustainable peace is a collaborative agreement with both of us coming to the table and it meeting both of our needs, and both of us signing on on it, which means that: I have to work with my enemy if I actually want peace. I can't ignore them. I can't marginalize them. I can't sideline them. I have to work together. And when that lightbulb goes on, I think we're starting to now move to that area where dangerous love can really start to take hold.”
Love will end with love. Hate will end with hate.
”How do we deal with an evil system, but deal with it in a way that's love and returns evil for good? I think that's the beauty of what [Martin Luther] King did. I think it's why he urged his followers to have the strength to love in the face of what they perceived to be evil and unjust, because the means are the ends in the making and if we choose love we will end with love, if we choose hate and division we are going to end with hate. And you know, our culture and our theologies and what have you, we should be looking at what are the outcomes of those thoughts and those feelings? Do they lead to peace and harmony and connectedness, or do they lead to more division or more fear or more hatred?”