E25: How to Fix the Unfixable, When Trust is Broken, with Dr. Wendy Fraser
Episode 25 of We are Open Circle’s Beyond Listening Podcast saw Dr Wendy Fraser come on to the podcast to talk about the nature of trust and conflict resolution.
How to avoid overemphasizing the issues at hand, and instead focus primarily on the human being you’re in conflict with
The importance of acknowledging your own part in disagreements or disputes
How leaders can be better equipped, prepared and patient when it comes to resolving issues and restoring trust.
Dr. Wendy Fraser is a highly-acclaimed leadership and team development consultant who has educated and inspired thousands of individuals to understand one another and work together better over 25 years. She is also the founder of Wendy Fraser Consulting.
Here are some of the key insights from the conversation
Repairing trust can take a huge amount of time and effort. Sometimes there is no quick fix.
“In the study, it took 6 to 36 months to repair trust. Think about that. How long has it taken for you to get to that place? If it has been a few years that has taken to get used to certain behaviour or deal with a change in relationship then perhaps you needed that time.”
Sometimes we just want to feel heard. Acknowledging your own part or mistake can make a world of difference in restoring trust or moving on from a disagreement.
“We want to be heard…we want to be seen…valued and everyone need their time. The first phases of the repair model are about reflect and understand. We need to think about what did I do to contribute to this situation. And until someone accepts that, I don’t believe they’re ready for the next stage”
Often the resolution doesn’t require moving forward or changing your mind. Sometimes it is simply about understanding and accepting the impact of the disagreement on each party.
“If you do the first two phases, reflect and understand, well you may not need to move forward. Sometimes its just about coming to a mutual understanding of what happened and its impact.”
